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5.5.16

A Letter to The Single Ladies





*To preface this letter there will be no man hating. Men are fun, cute & don't deserve to be hated on. We should respect them and value how they think. 


Dear Beautiful & Fabulous Women... Who Also Happen to be Single,


Let’s face it, there is an immense amount of pressure to be in a committed relationship, especially in your 20's. Watching people your own age, get engaged and married can be a time where your singleness is pointed out, and maybe not in a super empowering way that makes you think “I am a badass female all on my own.” 

The above photo pictures a handful of incredibly sexy women; women I am BEYOND grateful to call my friends. They are intelligent, motivated, compassionate, hilarious and did I mention SEXY women with amazing talents and passions. Each and every one of them is single. (Surprising I know) However, these women have about 150,000 things that define who they are before their relationship status. You are looking at some amazing writers, talented artists, excellent communicators and fabulous students who kick butt in their classes every single day. These are women who are going to go out and do crazy incredible things, from working in healthcare, teaching, event planning, missions and ministry, even slaying the business game. You are looking at highly motivated, beautiful, intelligent women, who also happen to be single. 

Are we all single by choice? Not exactly. We are all single for many different reasons. Some of us have high expectations that have yet to be met, some of us would rather date around, some of our priorities don’t lie in being someone’s girlfriend, at least not right now. Some of us have been hurt by men and don’t know what healthy dating looks like. Some of us are ready and want a guy to look at us and tell us we are worth it, because we are. The bottom line is, we are all strong, powerful, beautiful, smart and SINGLE women, who would make wonderful girlfriends (If I was a guy, I’d date each and every one of these ladies, gladly). Just because it isn’t happening right now, doesn’t mean it never will. It also doesn't define you, by any means. (This is so real and true for men too, this goes for single people IN GENERAL)

For every person who has ever felt like you are the only one without someone else, you don't know how wrong you are. Everyone has their own reasons for being single, being in a relationship, even for being engaged at twenty; but your self worth is not determined by your relationship status.Being single does not make you "less of a person" than those who aren't. You deserve the kind of relationship that is right for you, whatever that looks like, and if that isn't happening right now, it is absolutely worth waiting for. 


Girls, we are going to find men who like us for who we are. If a guy wants to change some integral part of you, goodness gracious, he is not worth any amount of compromise that you are willing to make. I pray to God that there is a man out there who can handle my passion for bluesy electric guitar solos, 50 shades of red lipstick, leather, my faith, iced coffee and turn of the century novels about feminism. Something tells me he's out there and yours is too!


So do not, even for a minute, second guess your self worth because of your relationship status. You are worth a hell of a lot more than that. 



With all that being said, I do have a challenge for single women. Stop patiently waiting and praying for God to deliver you some beautiful, perfect husband who will magically appear and make you whole. (Just stop it). Put yourself out there. Ask men on dates. Experience the heartbreak of rejection & the feeling of falling for someone. Embrace the things that scare you. You will learn so much more about yourself than you would have sitting around pining away after some nonexistent, "perfect" guy. Guys aren't perfect, neither are we. But there is so much to be said for growing through and embracing your weaknesses and imperfections, while clinging to the things that make you YOU. 




Remember, there is no perfect way to navigate any of this. We are all in the process of figuring out how to effectively love and be loved; embrace it. 





*shoutout to my co photog - Ms. Natalie Jackson